fleetingmadness: (john motherfucking watson)
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part iv: all right, then.

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One night John came home sober and grabbed a handful of Sherlock’s shirt, pulling the younger man down and kissing him for all he was worth. He whispered, “Please stop me,” and Sherlock responded by rolling their hips together and mouthing ‘never’ against his skin.

John woke up in the morning to Sherlock’s arms around his waist and his head buried in his chest and decided that he was an idiot and this should have happened months ago. He said so out loud and Sherlock laughed because yes, John, it really should have.

Mycroft is unsurprised, Lestrade is disturbed, and Ms. Hudson decides that being their housekeeper isn’t so bad anymore if it means catching them kissing at random moments. This disturbs Sherlock but amuses John and sometimes he gets them caught on purpose just to see the look on his face.

Sherlock is still maddening but withholding sex can do wonders to his attitude. Eventually he is even nicer to Lestrade and Dimmock and John likes to think that he’s fixing him in a way, not that he really needed fixing in the first place. He just likes to feel responsible for every moment that Sherlock is just a little bit more patient or just a little less condescending because then it all makes sense. Sherlock choosing him makes sense.

| LITTLE LOVER'S SO POLITE - silversun pickups.
tell me, did the bones collide? the bones collide, the bones collide. // it's always the same way for me, blue turns soft with time. broken remains, and everyday disguise, ending in the same way.

| OVERTURE - patrick wolf.
to look back at that boy on his way to school, such a heavy heart, such a heavy jewel, hiding sometime that one day he'll sell. but now if no one shows, no one tells a thing, no. so come on, open wide, open up now. don't you think it's time? // now after all these years, you are at last opening. was it worth all that war just to win?

| WINTER WINDS - mumford & sons.
as the winter winds little london with lonely hearts, oh, the warmth in your eyes swept me into your arms. was it love or fear of the cold that led us through the night? for every kiss, your beauty trumped my doubt.

| PORTIONS FOR FOXES - rilo kiley.
i know i'm alone if i'm with or without you, but just being around you offers me another form of relief. when the loneliness leads to bad dreams, and the bad dreams lead me to calling you, and i call you and say, "c'mere!" // and you're bad news; my friends tell me to leave you, that you're bad news, bad news, bad news. // and you're bad news; i don't care, i like you. i like you.

It takes Sherlock completely by surprise but the moment John’s lips touch his, he understands. The last few months make sense and he grabs this new understanding and doesn’t let go because John is kissing him and everything makes sense. John’s hands in his hair feels right and Sherlock’s hands on John’s hips feels even better.

Sherlock feels different the next morning, looser, and while John is nuzzling against his neck he decides that that’s okay.

It surprises him every time John sticks up for him and he doesn’t like being surprised, so he tries to give him fewer reasons to. He can be patient when he wants to be and he really wants to be, because when he is, John smiles. John likes being the one to “fix” him and maybe that’s okay, too.

The evenings are his favorite because it’s just him and John, pressed together on the couch watching crap television and laughing. John will sometimes lean his head on Sherlock’s shoulder and Sherlock will card a hand through his hair. It’s getting longer now and Sherlock likes to think he’s the reason.

And John knows him, really knows him, and sometimes that’s okay but sometimes it’s too much and he feels like he’s splitting at the seam but then John will smile and stitch him back together like it’s what he was born to do.

| ON MELANCHOLY HILL - gorillaz.
up on melancholy hill, there's a plastic tree. are you here with me? just looking out on the day of another dream, where you can't get what you want, but you can get me. so let's set up and see her, 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me.

| BLINDSIDED - bon iver.
i'm not really like this. i'm probably plightless. // 'cause blinded, i am. blindsided. would you really rush out? would you really rush out? would you really rush out for me now?

| SPLIT ME WIDE OPEN - the bravery.
your gentle eyes like a razor blade, they cut me open, you look right through; i give it all to you. split me wide open and cut at it all. my hands on your body like a blind man's on a wall. oh, you always show me: you're the only one who shows me.

| TO KINGDOM COME - passion pit.
i believed in you, so you believe in me. i cried out, "god!" you dared me in the dark, i felt a hush fall quietly from my spark. so now i hide in piles of princely orange peels, it feels the way you told me how it'd always feel.

A couple of days, or maybe a couple months, or even years later, Sherlock is painlessly stitched back together once again, and John decides that it will never make sense, but he’s kind of okay with that.

| SEAWEED SONG - passion pit.
nobody knows you the way you know you, but i think i do.


{ part one | part two | part three | part four }
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